It’s baaa-aack.
The Werewolf of Wisconsin has made another appearance. What’s that, you say? You didn’t know Wisconsin HAD a werewolf? Well, aren’t you surprised. Go here and play catch-up with a Cliff Notes breakdown on the Cheese state’s history of loup garou sightings, then hop on back over here for the latest.
Okay, here’s the down-low: you know the dead critters you see on the sides of the road every time you’re out driving? Somebody picks that stuff up, right? Great job to have. Anyhow, that’s what this guy named Steven Krueger, age 39, does for a living. So he was out, collectin' some of those departed denizens of the Wisconsin woodlands what done strayed too close to the highway, at approximately 1:30 AM on November 9 (I have no idea why the guy was out collectin’ critters at such an ungodly hour), and Krueger stopped to pick up a dead deer. The carcass, he said, weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 pounds. Krueger, a six foot, 230 pounder, had no easy time lifting the dead weight into the bed of his pick-up. He then got back into the truck. He noted that he had left on the truck lights, including the flashing ones on top of the cab. He had the radio playing. Next thing he knew, he felt the truck shaking and bumping.
In his own words: “I looked in the rearview mirror and I saw it. It was standing on the ground, bent over the tailgate, reaching into the back of the truck. It had its paw out and had the deer by one paw. I froze for a few seconds from being shocked [then] threw the truck into drive and stepped on it to get out of there!"
And here is his description of what he saw: "It had pointy ears, triangular shaped, and they looked like big wolf ears standing up on end. That was the main feature that made me realize it was not a bear. It had a longer muzzle than a black bear, and its head was more like a wolf than a bear. It almost looked like a very large black bear standing on its feet, if you took a wolf's head and enlarged it and set it on the bear's body." He estimated the creature to stand between six and seven feet tall, with long black fur. And, Krueger is quick to point out, “I know it wasn't Bigfoot."
There’s more. As he was speeding away, Mr. Krueger hears this clanging sound. It seems the werewolf had dragged the ramp Mr. Krueger used for loading his 4-wheeler into the truck bed out of said truck bed. Krueger guessed the deer was tangled in the ramp. Anyway, he drives for a little while, then it occurs to him that he should go back and get the ramp. But the ramp and the deer--and the werewolf, naturally--were by then nowhere to be seen. After a few hours, Mr. Krueger decided to report his encounter to the local police.
The cops asked the logical question. After all, Halloween is just past, and lots of stores have marked down their masks and costumes at a big discount. Says Krueger: "Would someone sit in the woods and wait . . . for me to come along just to scare me?" Besides, he added, no one could have known which route he would take that night. a prankster simply wouldn't have known to be there. And, for the police departments’ other suggestion: "I know what a bear looks like, and this was not a bear."
Now Krueger says he is sorry he reported the encounter at all, as no one believes him. They say he was either drinking (he maintains that he was not) or that he just misidentified a bear (he says no way) or that he’s a big ol’ fibber. Isn’t that always how it is with people who see weird stuff? They report it and get ridiculed for their trouble. What a shame. I give props to this guy for having the brass to call in the cops, even knowing they probably wouldn’t believe him. And I myself would likely chalk this one up to the influence of one Mr. Jack Daniels, too, if it wasn’t for all the OTHER sightings.
So Wisconsin still has its werewolf. Good to know, I say. They need something besides beer-cheese soup to make ‘em famous. (Though beer-cheese soup IS awful good.) In fact, I say we put the werewolf on the endangered species list! Let’s make the werewolf the official state animal(?) of Wisconsin. T-shirts, bumper stickers, coffee mugs! Wisconsin, embrace your werewolf!
This Krueger guy should be thankful, too. For one thing, at least. after all, the werewolf could have gone after HIM instead of the deer carcass. He’s just lucky it prefers venison to human. Or maybe it was in the mood for cold-cuts instead of a hot snack? Either way, he's lucky.
Still, I guess I can see why he wouldn’t be exactly thrilled with the state monster running around. Not because it might eat him or some other highway maintenance personnel, no. But if the werewolf eats up all the state's roadkill, Mr. Krueger will soon find himself without a job.
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